Iowa Governor Kim Reynolds just signed one of the most extreme abortion bans in the country. She is supported by those who believe that the loss of a six-week-old fetus is the same as the death of a six-year-old child. The anti-abortion movement in this country is aided and abetted by a right-wing, Christian nationalist agenda of repression and fear.
Fern: I met Congressman Steve King years ago when I wrote for the Ames Tribune. He seemed cheerful and friendly with twinkly blue eyes.
Back then he was lamenting the intrusion of government in our lives. One of the evils he mentioned was first lady Michelle Obama’s proposal to reduce calories in school lunches. King declared a food fight against what he imagined as “regulatory excess”.
Joe: I guess encouraging kids to eat their vegetables could be demonized as government intrusion.
Fern: That’s when I brought up the topic of abortion. At that time there was a bill being supported by Republicans that mandated a trans-vaginal ultrasound for any woman seeking to terminate a pregnancy. I asked the Congressman how a medically unnecessary and humiliating procedure fulfilled a Republican promise for “less intrusion” into the lives of private citizens.
Joe: What did he say to that?
Fern: I must have used the word “vagina” and “intrusion” too many times because King abruptly turned toward a less combative board member and began discussing ethanol.
Joe: There should be an “Oscar”—something like the Darwin Awards—for Iowans who failed to evolve. An embarrassment to Iowa award. Maybe a little gold model of a fertilizer spreader.
Fern: Steve King would have a shelf full of those awards. One for his quote about populating our country with “other people’s babies?” Another for the “calves like watermelons” comment about undocumented immigrants…
Joe: Wrong fruit. The direct quote was: "For everyone who's a valedictorian, there's another 100 out there that weigh 130 pounds and they've got calves the size of cantaloupes because they're hauling 75 pounds of marijuana across the desert."
Steve King was an embarrassment to Iowa. He was elected nine times before Iowa finally rejected his clownish antics. He’s finished spreading his manure now.
Steve King leaving the Capital after he was removed from House committees.
Fern: Still, his replacement has equally regressive politics, though less flair. But I nominate an Iowan who’s received national attention lately for most ridiculous sound bite: Brad Sherman (R- Williamsburg).
Joe: He’s the Republican who suggested that people who might want access to abortion care should just remained celibate.
Fern: Direct quote: Everyone is free not to have sex. Maybe they shouldn’t have sex; it’s that simple.
Joe: Everyone? They? Interesting use of pronouns.
Something isn’t clear to me. The Christian denominations who believe abortion is murder deny the procedure in every case except for rape or incest. So, if a baby is the result of rape or incest, then it’s okay to kill it?
Fern: But this can be avoided if you listen to Brad Sherman and just “say no to sex.”
Joe: Just say no didn’t work so well with drugs. How quickly we forget, eh Brad?
Fern: Actually it’s Pastor Brad. Sherman’s resume describes him as a pastor for the Solid Rock Church. And he believes that our rights come from God, not government.
Brad Sherman doing God’s work in the Iowa Statehouse
Joe: I’ve never heard of the Solid Rock Church.
Fern: There’s information on the website about “Preparing for the Government of God.” Especially when “ungodly leaders (are) taking our nation down a path of destruction.” There’s also something about women being subservient to men.
And here’s one of Paster Sherman’s very own talking points: Like many Americans today, I find the socialist and Marxist trends that are pushing our nation ever closer to the tyranny of communism very alarming. I can’t sit back and let these evils destroy the freedoms that have made America a blessing to the entire world.
Joe: Communism? I know that the religious right sees drag queens as a national threat, but Communism? Hello Joe McCarthy, who summoned you back from the grave?
Fern: If we could only stop having all that wanton sex
no abortions would be necessary.
Joe: Well, if the good pastor of the Solid Rock Church is going all Elmer Gantry on us, I think he needs to include the sinful propagators who donate the sperm which results in pregnancy.
Fern: Great idea. We know who you are, father of the fetus. We have science on our side. There’s DNA testing. So no more hiding from the one-night stand you had while drunk on Tequila shots.
Joe: Yep. If abortion is illegal, there should be follow-up regarding male responsibility. Eighteen years of child support. Attendance at ballet recitals. Money toward a college savings account. Fatherhood is a beautiful thing.
Fern: You know, Iowa – along with other red states – will get the reputation it deserves: as a place with Yahoos and hicks and religious fundamentalists who want to control women’s bodies, ban books and deny human rights to the most fragile of our citizens.
Joe: I’m with the Republicans on one thing though: God help us.
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Tuesday at the Capitol was wild. Another pastor nearly got in a fist fight with a couple of Planned Parenthood folks. He kept yelling, "Heathens" and "Baby Killers" at the hundreds of protesters. Check yourself, white dude. You don't believe that every sperm is sacred?
I love your gentle rebuttals to idiots. You are my heroes.