Fern: Iowa is always full of surprises. Admire the daffodils and the next day we get out the snow shovels.
What’s more surprising is the sharp right turn this state has taken. From literacy to lunacy. From Obama to Trump. From supporting gay marriage to guarding the bathroom doors.
I used to be proud to live in this state. Now I’m embarrassed. We’re like Alabama. With colder winters.
Joe: But before you get too angry, keep in mind there’s much that’s good about Iowa. Not a lot of crime. Housing is affordable. And most people are friendly and nice when you meet them. We have only four venomous snakes to worry about; meanwhile Alabama has six. Yes, Iowa politics are now veering to the right . . .
Fern: Veering to the right? You think Iowa is veering? Honey, we’re veering off the cliff!
It would make Iowa great again if politicians stayed out of the school curriculum and left the decisions about what to read and what to teach to experts: teachers and librarians.
It would make Iowa great again if we cared that the best soil in the world is going down the river.
It would make Iowa great again if politicians left medical decisions to women and their doctors.
Joe: Make Iowa Great Again? Catchy. Did you come up with that slogan on your own?
Fern: No, I saw it online from some guy selling gold sneakers.
Joe: But we get to vote. Iowa can change. I really want to believe that.
Fern: One thing that has changed—and keeps changing!—is our state slogan. We recently got a new one.
Joe: I didn’t even know we had an old one.
Fern: We’ve had a number of state slogans. Most of them cringe-worthy and composed by corporate-think advertising.
Joe: Well, the more the merrier—that’s my motto.
Fern: And – did you know -- there’s a difference between a state slogan and its motto. Iowa’s motto has been around since statehood in 1847. The Iowa motto is on the state flag. The Iowa slogan however – the one on the highway signs welcoming visitors – keeps changing.
Joe: My head is spinning. What’s our state motto?
Fern:Our liberties we prize, and our rights we will maintain.
Joe: A fairly generic patriotism. What’s our slogan?
Fern: Decades back when I first moved to Iowa it was Iowa: A place to Grow. Which I thought was really quite nice. A sweet double entendre that anyone can understand.
But there were a couple of real clinkers after that.
Joe: Didn’t one of those clinkers go on our license plates?
Fern: That was in the 80’s. Iowa: A State of Minds. I believe it was intended as a description of our literacy rate and our excellent Iowa public schools.
Joe: Good thing that slogan was canned.
Fern: In the later 80’s we had Discover Iowa Treasures. Which could be a porn site. It didn’t last long. There was also a campaign in the 90’s for the Iowa: You Make Me Smile slogan.
Joe: Good slogan for a dental office.
Fern: Since 1999 it was Fields of Opportunities.
Joe: Opportunities? Why didn’t they throw in synergistic too? Or contingent?
Fern: Last year, under Kim Reynolds, we got our latest Iowa slogan. And I believe over three hundred thousand dollars of federal pandemic relief funds were used to pay a marketing company for it.
Joe: So, what did we get for our three hundred thousand dollars of Covid federal relief fund money?
Fern: Freedom to Flourish
Joe: I want my money back.
Fern: If only.
Joe: I think all this freedom talk is thinly disguised code for “Your business will make us lotsa money here because we won’t tax you as much.”
Fern: Social issues are . . . social issues. Not political ones. MYOB. That should be a good slogan for Iowa. Mind your own business. MYOB. Now that’s a slogan worth putting on a hat!
Joe: Silly hats with silly messages—is that what you want?
Fern: What I want is for Rob Sand, State Auditor, to become the next governor. From a recent poll, he’s the state official who Iowans think is performing his job better than our current governor. And this, despite the lack of cooperation he has faced as the only Democrat holding statewide elected office. He’s smart. He’s nice. He’s young.
Joe: Sounds like you have a crush.
Fern: I do, a little.
Joe: Rob Sand—My Wife loves him! How’s that for a slogan? Or maybe it’s a motto
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The State of Iowa has taken a turn, at the harm to its citizens-just not the straight, white, Republican population. We need a Governor who believes in the rights of women to make their own health care decisions, of minorities to have a voices, to allow all individuals to exercise their rights as citizens, regardless of sex, race, religion, sexuality, etc. I worked for the State for 46 years. That last several years were very hard.
One of your best ones yet! Great Read! Made me smile. Great way to start my new work week!